still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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