I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize