Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
