I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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