I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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