We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
