So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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