He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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