Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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