Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
