I can tuck mytits in my pants
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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