Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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