well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
