I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize