If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize