well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
