hotel room ftw
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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