i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
