Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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