Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
