It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
