i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
