DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
