i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
