i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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