her vagine was all disorganized.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
