sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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