Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's never too late to be topless.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
