He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't deserve a penis
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
