You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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