I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you would pick up someone in the library
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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