sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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