Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's never too late to be topless.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
