oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I am spending my child support on dildos
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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