that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
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I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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