I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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