my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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