So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
