i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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