I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
