He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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