Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.