He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT