Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank