So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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