i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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