we're chasing vodka with high fives
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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