What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
