is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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