That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
