Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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