her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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