I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize