How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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