This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize