If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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