i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
