What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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