DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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