You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
