i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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