just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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