if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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